The Taipore Times

Aglrinia
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The Taipore Times May 30, 2018 21:53:26 GMT

Post by Aglrinia on May 30, 2018 21:53:26 GMT

The Taipore Times
Kazahkbad Capital Building Goes Up In Flames - Martial Law Declared.

On February 5th, 2018 the Kazahkbad Capital Building quickly went up into flames. As firefighters attempted to put out the flames that engulfed the nation's capital building, the parliamentarians, ministers and President Kudu quickly made their way out of the capital building. President Kudu attempted to seize the moment appearing both furious and distraught. As Aglrinian News Now (ANN) was there reporting on the matter, Kudu stole the stage as he stood atop a pile of burning rubble waving his fist in the air. Yelling "Our patience has run dry!" public and media attention drifted from the capital building fire to President Kudu.

Kudu went even further delivering an entire improvised speech;

"We are determined to defend our lives by all means necessary whether the rest of Auratus perceives the necessity for this struggle or not. War, is upon us and is the message of the hour. The dangers which stand before us are enormous. Thus our resistance against it must also be enormous. The time has come... it is time to take of the gloves of civility."

The surrounding crowd cheered as President Kudu threw a leather glove into the burning capital burning and waved his hand over the fire.

"Now we must clench our fists. We can no longer make only partial and careless uses of the war home or the parts of Auratus that we control abroad. We must use our full resources, thoroughly and quickly and as practically as possible. The more powerful fist I have the more devastating the blow shall be! The time to entertain peace has come and gone, we can only rely on thoughts of war - and acceleration of it. The most radical war is also the shortest."

The crowd began to interrupt and chant, "Kamenangan! Kamenangan!" (victory) again and again

"Do you want if necessary a more radical and total war than anything you could ever imagine?"

The crowd began to chant, "Ya! Ya!" (Yes) again and again

"Are you ready to stand and fight with me, and the army with great determination as through all turns of fate until victory is ours!?"

"I ask you, are you determined to follow me through thick and thin even if it means bearing the heaviest of all burdens!?

The crowd continued to chant, "Ya! Ya!" (Yes) again and again, then in unison they began to yell "Muji Kudu! Kami mengikuti Kudu!" again, and again. (Praise Kudu, Kudu leads we follow.)

"You have told the enemy exactly what they needed to hear, now they shall have no illusions or false ideas. Let it be known that from henceforth we are at war with the Catholic faith!"

Aglrinia
Administrator

Posts: 70

The Taipore Times May 30, 2018 21:54:03 GMT

Post by Aglrinia on May 30, 2018 21:54:03 GMT

Kudu Empowered to Dissolve Parliament; Rule by Decree.

After the burning of the Kazahkbad Capital building parliament unanimously passed legislation in the interim capital building which effectively gave Kudu the capability to dissolve the nation's parliament. The Parliament is on a summer recess which has since been extended due to the Capital Building's fire. The Parliament isn't scheduled to reconvene until May 31st of 2018 long after the legislation takes effect. President Kudu himself declined to comment on the matter; however, the president's office did issue an official statement in regards to the new legislation.

"The democratic system is hailed by the developed world as near perfect, as the most superior political system to run a country. Democracy is slow and chaotic, it's an over glorified political system that proves to be less viable and legitimate the longer it exists. It's high time as a nation we tried something new."

It's expected with the strengthening of his hand Kudu will go after businesses that he's accused of aiding and abetting Catholics, along with every form of opposition to the Shizhu party. Although other political parties have been outlawed since 2002, one can still run for office as unaffiliated which has since become the second choice for anyone with views that don't conform to the ideals of the Shizhu party.

Aglrinia
Administrator

Posts: 70

The Taipore Times May 30, 2018 21:54:44 GMT

Post by Aglrinia on May 30, 2018 21:54:44 GMT

Kudu's First Decree;
Drastically Increases the Punishment For Child Molesters and Rapists

Kudu's first decree came as an incredible surprise to many, many of whom expected the decree to concern businesses, foreign imports, Catholics, the military, navy, air force, or bolstering the power of the Shizhu party. Instead Kudu's first decree dramatically increased the severity of the punishment for those convicted of child molestation and rape. The decree effectively makes it so anyone convicted of child molestation or rape will have their genitalia removed without being given a sedative or anesthetic. Afterwards the genitalia shall be "boiled before their very eyes." Then the convict shall be forced to eat their own genitalia. After having done so the convict will be locked away for the remainder of their life, in a soundproof cell with no window, lighting or bathroom. Where they may be subject to sleep deprivation, strappado, and water-boarding.

We asked a Professor from the University of Beijilano that specializes in both History and Sociology his opinion on the matter, here's what he had to say;

"This decree doesn't truly come as much of a surprise to me. Few people look at Kudu's history before he was the Chief of Naval Operations. But, the fact of the matter is his personal history is rather complicated, twisted, sad, and dark. His father died when he was very young, when he was around the age of two. For reasons, that are still unaware. This made it so it was just Mauta Kudu and his mother, to fend for their selves. Keep in mind, this was during Nihazov and Fortunatov regime's. So the economy was horrible.

It was hard enough for a woman to support herself, let alone a child on top of it. His mother wasn't religious, from what we know she actually tested several religious faiths. But, doing this actually proved to work in her favor. When you're failing to feed yourself and your child, and the Catholic church offers housing and food in exchange for you helping with church services it's hard to say no. From what we know Kudu lived with his mother in a church in the city of Maharan, once he turned seven years old. His mother passed the collection plate, and he was an altar boy.

We know now, that the Priest apparently raped Mauta Kudu almost on a daily basis for six years, up until he was thirteen when he ran away from the church. When the priest was raping him, he told Kudu that he needed to empty himself of his sins. Constantly telling him that it's his fault that he, and his mother are homeless, and living in poverty. That If he truly emptied himself of his sins, and bad habits it would make room for god to fill him with the holy spirit. In this case the holy spirit meaning the priest's semen. The priest would constantly reinforce the thought that it will take a very, very long time for god to forgive him. Or, tell Kudu he wasn't truly emptying himself of his sins to prolong it. Until Kudu eventually ran away at age thirteen. We have no knowledge of what happened to the mother he left behind, or his life until he joined a Mosque at age nineteen.

However, knowing what we do know it's easy to understand why Kudu issued the decree.

Last Edit: May 30, 2018 21:57:10 GMT by Aglrinia

Aglrinia
Administrator

Posts: 70

The Taipore Times May 30, 2018 22:00:20 GMT

Post by Aglrinia on May 30, 2018 22:00:20 GMT

Aglrinia Declared A Caliphate
Grand imams far and wide declare Kudu the prophet reincarnate

As dawn broke on February 20th, Mauta Kudu issued a declaration inside the Markaz Mosque in Maharan that officially reclassifies the Aglrinian government as a Caliphate. Many consider the declaration Kudu's way of disbanding the nation's parliament without officially disbanding it. Because this declaration effectively makes Mauta Kudu the nation's head of state, commander in chief, and the head of the nation's official state church; an autarch.

At the declaration Kudu declared the act what shall be the beginning of what he deemed operation "Wiwitan Anyar." Which effectively starts the beginning of a new Aglrinia, all the nation's history before Mauta Kudu assumed power shall be considered irrelevant, a history of a different nation. Any practitioners of Islam are considered citizens of the Aglrinian Caliphate and welcomed into Aglrinia with open arms. Kudu has also stated that it is his responsibility, and the state's mission to spread Islam and show the whole of Auratus the error of its ways by showing it the one true faith. Even, if that means by show of force.

Rodionovs's office refused to issue a statement on the matter; however, last night on February 19th the Ministry of Harkokin Affairs (Internal Affairs) removed every single religion but Islam from the list of recognized religions. While the Ministry of Seje Affairs (Foreign Affairs) placed level three travel advisories on every single foreign nation urging any Aglrinian citizen to reconsider traveling there. Stressing that if they should travel they take the following precautions;

Avoid areas where there are large gatherings, false religious symbols, or demonstrations, and exercise caution in the vicinity gatherings.

Remain aware of your surroundings and be vigilant when traveling in unfamiliar areas or outside of cities and along border areas; take appropriate steps to enhance your personal security.
Consider traveling in pairs and bringing a Quran so you wont succumb to the falsehoods of fake prophets, and false religious practices.
Remember not to be tempted by praises of democracy, as it is a banal over glorified political system that proves to be less viable and legitimate the longer it exists.

Last Edit: May 30, 2018 22:06:07 GMT by Aglrinia

Aglrinia
Administrator

Posts: 70

The Taipore Times May 30, 2018 22:06:45 GMT

Post by Aglrinia on May 30, 2018 22:06:45 GMT

Thank You & Goodbye
After 278 years, we finally say a sad but very proud farewell to our loyal readers.

The Taipore Times will roll off the presses for the last time Wednesday February 21st. The Kakalina Corp. announced Monday that it would stop publishing the 278-year old newspaper, Taipore's oldest business, and cease delivery to more than fourteen million weekday readers. "Tonight we'll be putting the paper to bed for the last time," Editor and Publisher Fawiza Mendi told a silent newsroom Wednesday morning. In a news release, Kakalina CEO Walter Vivek III said, "The choice wasn't exactly ours to make."

"This is part of a growing trend that is slowly happening around the country," Akash Raghnall, a journalism professor at Maharan University, told the paper. "It is inevitable, and the day will sadly come for every private news organization in the state."

There were emotional scenes at the newspaper's headquarters in Taipore earlier as chief editor Mendi led journalists out to a mix of rapturous applause, and sorrow. "I want to pay tribute to this wonderful team of people here who after a truly difficult day have produced a brilliant and professional newspaper. This isn't where we want to, or deserve to be. There is no justification for this appalling wrongdoing. Nor for the deep stain this act has left on this nation's great history" Mendi declared.